Wooli part 4… Cervapcici (Skinless Sausages)


These are some tasty little Croatian/Serbian (I certainly won’t be taking sides in that one) sausages. Tasty little skinless sausages, much like circumcised penises except tastier… not that I would know. No circumcised throbbing member for me, thank you. Cevapcici sure. Throbbing member no thank you.

It is suggested that a fitting accompaniment to these little circumcised penises is avjar and sour cream. Avjar is a roasted capsicum and eggplant condiment, but as I have exactly zero eggplant and capsicum in my possession and also the shop in this village has zero knowledge of the existence of such exotic fruits and/or vegetables, I shant be making that. Sour cream is cream that has been soured. Once again not in my possession and far too exotic for this place… I could wait for them to order it but the next supply boat is not due from the Caribbean spice traders for another two months. Don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not complaining about the cessation of any link to society these little places seem to experience. In fact that is what draws me to them the most. It’s the type of place where I could board myself in and write a book or two… and possibly end up in part 2 of The Shining. One just needs to remember to bring supplies and use what is on hand, or face the journey back to the nearest civilized major center. Which I may add is neither “that civilized” nor at all on the cards for me. So making use of what I had was my motto for the day. My brain conjured up this so-quick-I-can’t-believe-it tomato relish, which is quicker than the gypsy’s hand into your back pocket at the town fair. Also a fennel sauerkraut number made it’s way from that same brain, through my hands, into a pot and onto the table with the sausages and relish.

Mixy mixy
Mixy mixy
Form into little penises
Form into little penises
Fry little penis, fry
Fry little penis, fry
On the table like a baws
On the table like a baws
Get in my belly
Get in my belly

These sausages are well worth a try. Tasty eating right there.


300g beef mince
200g pork mince
½ brown onion, grated (grate the other half for your quick tomato relish)
2 cloves garlic, grated
1 teaspoon paprika
• Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix thoroughly. Really thoroughly. There’s nothing worse than something like this when one bite contains all of the salt and spice
• Form into little penis like sausages, about 10cm long. Slap them about a bit if that makes you feel good
• Fry sausages in a pan over medium heat, with a splash of oil. Cook for 7-8 minutes or until done, turning every 2 minutes so they don’t fuse to the bottom of the pan
• Eat in hotdog buns with fennel ‘kraut and quick tomato relish if that is what you desire

2 cups of your finest home made sauerkraut or store bought styleez if that’s all you got
1 medium bulb fennel, sliced
• Sauté fennel in a little oil until soft
• Add sauerkraut and warm through

½ brown onion, grated
1 400g tin crushed tomatoes or 400g tomato passata
1 clove garlic, grated
1 teaspoon paprika
2 tablespoons sugar
3 tablespoons vinegar (I found some red wine vinegar in the pantry)
• Chuck everything into a pot and simmer over medium-high heat, stirring constantly for five minutes until thickened slightly
• Check seasoning as the salt will really bring the flavours out of the relish and into your mouth
• Cool and serve

Nom nom nom
Nom nom nom

15 responses to “Wooli part 4… Cervapcici (Skinless Sausages)”

  1. Funny, I made something just like this for breakfast in the weekend, but didn’t know that it was already “a thing”. I figured they were some kind of skinless sausage though. I didn’t slap mine, does it improve the texture or is it only for morale?

    We were out of bacon and sausages but I had pork mince so I added breadcrumbs, tarragon, paprika, salt and garlic and rolled up some chodes. I can attest these are equally good with hash browns, eggs and mushrooms as they are with kraut, relish and bread.

  2. Wow this looks great. It’s kind of how i love to eat….without revealing too much. I like the idea of avjar too, but your substitution looks fab.

  3. Why did you have to compare these delicious things to frying penises?! Argh. Spicy penis in a roll… Okay, I’m going to try and erase that image from my head. These look delicious. We are heading to Croatia in a few weeks and I know absolutely nothing about Croatian food. I do hope that I can find these there…

    • Bahaha. Don’t worry about the penis thing. I still ate the shit out of them!!! Smiley (and slightly jealous. But mostly just smiley and stoked you weren’t on that Malaysia airlines flight) face

  4. Yasssss. This is awesome. I love sausages but hate hot dogs. I also love how this is skinless! Aw yeah. You brown that meat up instead of the skin and it must be real good. I love the use of the fennel. 😛

    They’re rather small for penises, aren’t they? 😉

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