BBQ lamb sausage rolls


Sausage rolls: an Australian institution.

BBQ: also and Australian institution.

Lamb: also an Australian institution.

Can you see where I’m going with this? Of course you can. You are not as simple as you look.

These little suckers are so tasty you’ll find yourself cooking up extra lamb just to make more.

Mix it up.

Get your little meat roll thing going on.

Roll them up, egg wash, dust with a little extra seasoning and then into the oven they go.

BBQ LAMB SAUSAGE ROLLS

(makes 24 rolls)

4 – 5 cups leftover BBQ or roast lamb – cutlets, ribs, shoulder or whatever it is you have – chopped
1 kg beef mince (helps to bind the cooked meat)
1 brown onion, finely chopped
1 medium zucchini, grated
100 g (1 ½ cups) fresh sour dough bread crumbs (these soak up some of the meat juices and keep them inside the sausage roll which, in turn, keeps the sausage roll moist and tasty)
1 tbls herby lamb seasoning, plus extra to dust
6 squares ready rolled puff pastry. They all seem to be a pretty standard size out here so we’ll stick with the standard size today.
Egg wash (1 egg beaten with a splash of milk)

Preheat oven to 200 C (390 F).
Chuck all ingredients except pastry and egg wash into a bowl and mix until combined.
Lay out puff pastry sheets side by side on a bench top.
Slice pastry squares to form two rectangles.
Lay a sausage-like mound of meat lengthways down the pastry sheet. Roll pastry over the meaty mound and back onto itself so meat is fully encased. Slice through middle to form two sausage rolls.
Place sausage rolls side by side (2 cm gap so they don’t puff up and stick to each other) on oven trays lined with baking paper.
Glaze with egg wash and sprinkle with extra lamb seasoning.
Bake for 20 -25 minutes or until golden brown, rotating trays twice during cooking.
A your choice of sauce, or none at all, and eat that shit.

Humour, Australia Day and Hipster by proxy

IMG_9246
Um, I have a question.

Have people, like the total generalization of the human race, just lost their fucking sense of humour? Did we all just get so damn middle aged and serious? Have we all forgotten how much fun it can be to just have a good goddam laugh at our own selves, or even the small child who might fall over a hit his face on the concrete. Oh how we would laugh; ha ha ha, he he he, and all the while our mouths would be turned upwards, saluting the gods of funny and happy with the technique commonly referred as a smile…

Sam Kekovich being a lambassador
Sam Kekovich being a lambassador

And then this Sam Kekovich bloke comes along as the newly appointed “Lambassador” and champion of the lamb industry this Australia Day (Happy Australia Day PS), and upsets the shit out of the vegans because they don’t like being told to eat lamb. Honestly, they don’t need to eat the lamb. I would go so far as to say please don’t the lamb – I will look after your share without a problem.
Captain Cook got the call up for the Australia Day Lamb Campaign too
Captain Cook got the call up for the Australia Day Lamb Campaign too

Has the time left us when people would not think too far into television advertisements? Or has that time passed when people may have just turned the effing TV off and done exactly what they wanted to do as apposed to thinking that they are obliged to do what the TV tells them? If I tell you the truth, I am more than happy for these peeps to leave the lamb for me. More than happy! And, you know what? If it’s such a huge fucking issue, maybe they should just go and make their own television advert and tell everyone to eat something that isn’t lamb for Australia day; eat some gum leaves or billabongs or something like that and keep it real legit.
I had myself a lamb pie for Australia Day because a guy on the television told me I should
I had myself a lamb pie for Australia Day because a guy on the television told me I should

Which brings me to my next little issue… or whine… or waaaah waaah… or baaah waaaah (that was a bit of a lamby reference for those of you who weren’t paying attention); What about the prejudices against the middle aged, bearded, caucasion male, the weight of the hipster movement, and the rights of the common man to just wear a goddam beard?

Was that a segue? I doubt it. I have not yet seen a real live segue grace these pages, and indeed I do not expect to see one anytime in the foreseeable future.

Anyway, as you may or may not be able to tell, I am pretty effing sick of it (but at least I’ve calmed down enough to stop using the language of the herpes infested salty old sea dog), and I am ready to set this rant upon the world via the interweb super highway and a currently paid up-to-date account with my internet service provider.

If you don’t want to hear about it you should smash your computer now, because I am getting exponentially more confident by the minute…

I mostly blame Jennee, a) because it’s easy, and b) because she was so generous of spirit to point out that I kind of am a hipster by proxy… all except my name. I need a name that’s some kind of hybrid, left field, a surname first name or something from the Victorian era, and I could possibly scrape in with something Scandinavian at the very least. Christianeous, Leonard, Michaelangelo, Matheous…

And what the heck even is this hipster by proxy business I am talking about? Well, plain and simple I’ve just been asked once too often if I am a hipster.

Now I contemplate mowing my facial hair back to reveal the smooth face of a man I used to know and I also contemplate what it is about me that has made it so very simple for peeps to enquire as to whether my religion, or freaking out-look or whatever, is “hipster”…

I will tell you now; look carefully because there are a few key differences. Allow me to demonstrate;

Hipsters have large beards that are perfectly manicured and smell very nice because of the flowers they put in them – I have a large beard that is not manicured even one little bit and it doesn’t necessarily smell the best. Also, at any given moment, it contains enough barbecued meats for a Viking wedding celebration
Hipsters like cold brew, organic, artisan, ethically grown, small batch coffee – I like to drink cold coffee but my preferred method of attainment of said coffee is leaving it on the bench for an hour… so I guess it could be said that I actually enjoy cold stale coffee
Hipsters pay fat wads of cash for minimalistic, pared back design and re-purposed, ethically gathered materials – I fitted a restaurant out with plywood counters and tables because it was all that we could afford
Hipsters have a top knot – I am merely top notch
Hipsterism is on trend – Grazism is not even close to being on trend

So, as you can see, it is not actually that hard for us to be friends. If you cannot see how easy it is for us to be friends then, well, you are probably doing the weekly shopping while wearing active-wear at the moment and I am not actually qualified to help you with those problems and I can only pray that natural selection will take you from me.

Done.

That is my lamb pie, lid lifted and stuffed with mashed potato and mushy peas. Who ever decided this would be a good idea is a fricking genious
That is my lamb pie, lid lifted and stuffed with mashed potato and mushy peas. Who ever decided this would be a good idea is a fricking genious

PS I did eat your lamb in the form of an off-the-hook-good lamb pie from the Southern Queensland institution that is the Yatala Pie Shop. I “floatered” the living shit out of it with mashed potato, mushy peas and a kick-ass gravy that had little bits of meaty goodness in it. Soooo damn good!

Happy Straya Day.

The end.

The Many Lands Challenge (for Sammy) part 1

Paul’s Caul… Typos and all

So the bar has been raised, what the hell does that mean? Because if we were speaking about limbo then shit just got real easy, but if you’re speaking of a metaphorical level of hardness, and I think we all want that! Then what I’m saying is we have been entrusted with a new challenge that I think to be not hard, but definitely challenging (hence the name I guess, god damn genius here)

The challenge is to create a 5-6 course menu with each course from a different country, so to make things easier I will stop the confusion and make it 5 courses… and since both G-bags and I like to share we are going to go course for course, now I hear you all say “that Paul isn’t just a shit speller, he can’t add up either” well I may be many things but a bad mathmatition I am not… (Like what I did there)

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and lets hope it’s a sturdy limb as I’m not in the best shape I’ve ever been in J I was thinking we could do 2 courses each and then you guys, the people, the public and now the judges can decide who if any of us write the final course… VOTE 1 PAUL!!!!

Brilliant idea until none of you vote and we end up looking like a pair of self serving twats, with a blown up vision of how much you all care about what goes on here in Blog Land (I even used capitals in case it is a real place) but regardless I’m going to run with this marvelous idea, unless G edits it out.

So I’m getting to kick things off, and I’m starting with Australia and this is for several reasons…
1. Its where we live
2. Hoping to sway the voting public by being patriotic
3. It begins with A which also happens to be the first letter of our national alphabet
4. I wrote an Australian themed menu last week for another project and I’m extremely lazy
5. See point 4

I did forget to mention that the challenge was meant to have a certain sexiness to it, a little something to get the juices flowing, something to get Oliver the pink chimney sweep up the skin chimney of love… you get me? Basically people once again are turning to us to help them get laid, BWAHAHAHA…. Seriously people is it that hard to get some loving, surely just some old-fashioned manors and a shit load of booze will do the trick. But to try and make food any sexier then it already is well, just about impossible. Unless you start with phallic objects and connotations, but that’s not cool and we don’t condone banana splits that look like huge vaginas, as funny as they are, we’re cooler then that!!!

That’s right you heard it here first, we here at foodisthebestshitever are cooler then huge vaginas!!!!

Back to my chosen dish, it is ‘Kangeroo tataki & ginger salsa finshed with coopers stout’ now I realize its far from a tradional Australian dish but really what could be more Australian then roo, coopers and the blending of different cultures… VOTE 1 PAUL J

Roo tataki & ginger salsa finished with cooper’s stout.

200g loin fillet (kangaroo of course)
1 tablespoon fresh ginger (grated or chopped fine)
1 teaspoon pickled ginger (sliced fine)
2 spring onions (finely sliced)
1 tablespoon tamari (wheat soy, it’s the balls!)
1 long neck of Cooper’s stout

• Firstly trim the loin of any sinew or fat, then simply seal it in a hot pan or on a grill/bbq until its cooked about 3mm in the meat all the way round, then rest for a few minutes and roll up in glad wrap to give it a nice round shape… put to one side
• In a bowl add all other ingredients other then the stout together, then add about 1 tablespoon of the stout… place to one side
• Now simply slice the roo into 2-3 mm slices and arrange on a plate/bowl or in keeping with the theme maybe you could turn an old can of beer into a vessel (much like a can bong but without the holes J ) maybe 4-5 slices per serve
• Now spoon a small amount of the ginger salsa over it
• Now for the magic, just before you serve it, and I mean just before if not at the bloody table (very ozzie) pour a good splash of stout over the dish so it’s still fizzing as they eat….

BAM! There’s the first course done and dusted, lets see where G-bags Mc filthy mouth will take us next… but given the fact I’ve done Australia we will definitely need passports and jabs of some kind 😉