Grilled seafood with garlicky butter sauce while the kids are away

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A simple, three-step recipe for a damn fine night with your one and only while the children are absent on school camp.

1. Ship the children off to school camp. It is important to remember that this involves more than just sending your offspring to their place of learning (yes, that’s questionable but we’ll get back to that gripping social commentary at a later date) and leaving them with a packed bag and no intention of returning to pick them up. In fact, you can get into a lot of trouble for that type of behavior. You will need the school that your children are attending to host a student camp and take those little cherubs off of your hands, and you need them to be gone for a few nights at the very least.

2. Once the children have stepped out of the car and the doors have been closed behind them it is time to head straight down to your local purveyors of home entertainment goods, quality seafood and booze and, in that order, get yourself a new home entertainment system – something big… and in colour… and with wireless remote control. Yeah, we’re going all out on this one (or maybe you already have one of these and this step can be omitted), get a pile of fresh seafood – we chose prawns (shrimp), scallops, ocean trout and oysters, and defo get some quality booze of some kind – some ingredients for a mojito plus a decent bubbly for later was a pretty good call methinks.

3. Drink some booze and cook that seafood and serve it with garlicky butter as per following recipe. Pretty simple huh…

Outstanding prep to flavour ratio right there

Get it going on

Seafood, butter sauce and booze. That is a good time


GARLICKY BUTTER DIPPY SAUCE FOR SEAFOOD

(serves 2-4, depending on how buttery you like it)

250g unsalted butter
6-8 cloves garlic, chopped
1 teaspoon seafood seasoning, we used Lanes Q-Nami to absolutely outstanding effect
1 handful parsley, chopped
Juice of ½ lemon
A little extra salt and pepper if needed
A decent pile of fresh seafood, straight off the coals
Bread to mop up any extra buttery goodness

Sauté the garlic with one tablespoon of butter to get the show on the road. Once garlic has softened, add remaining butter and seafood seasoning and cook out over medium heat until butter start to foam.
Pour lemon juice into butter and remove from heat.
Check seasoning and adjust if necessary.
Get it onto the table with a pile of seafood.
Use bread to mop up any extra puddles of that liquid gold and, if the mood encourages it, maybe even save a little butter sauce for garlic butter boobies later on.
Hey, I don’t know what you freaking pervs get up to when the kids are away…

Chicken, bacon, potato and sauerkraut soup… more easytastygood

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chicken, bacon, potato and sauerkraut soup
This was both an ode to my German heritage and the only thing I could come up with using what I had on hand.

In keeping with simplicity of my recent mussel recipe and in the true spirit of #easytastygood this is indeed an easy recipe that is both tasty and good for you. This is the sort of food I need in my life at the moment as I have again found myself officially in the realm of the time poor. Also known as “just having such a blast at this life thing that I really can’t get enough of all of the cool shit going on”. Whatever the case, this food is getting me through.

The smell of bacon and vegetables cooking in garlic butter is truly a good smell indeed

The smell of bacon and vegetables cooking in garlic butter is truly a good smell indeed


I had some nice, smoky Borrowdale bacon in the fridge, I had some shredded roast chicken in the freezer, I had some potatoes in the cupboard and I had some sauerkraut in the downstairs fridge. I always have sauerkraut in the downstairs fridge… a great big effing bucket of sauerkraut. So you know what? I chucked that stuff and a couple of other veges in a pot (in an order that would make sense. Don’t just go chucking it all into a pot. I will reveal all in the full recipe below) and sweated it off in some garlic butter (left-over from the garlic bread we made to go with those mussels), added a few liters of stock… or maybe it was water… yep, it was definitely water, and simmered it for an hour until it was all delicious smelling and my face was begging for it. Literally begging for it, pining and shit. Dirty little whore face.

The sauerkraut does beautiful things to this soup, much like pencillin does beautiful things to that rash in your private parts, as does the smoky goodness that was gifted by that bacon. It was a combined effort resulting in a truly effective combination that my family, and indeed a lonely spinster who was wandering the night streets, thoroughly enjoyed. A combination that shall henceforth be known as “the Batman and Robin Effect”.

So clever.

That soup

That soup


CHICKEN, BACON, POTATO & SAUERKRAUT SOUP (serves 4 easily. Possibly even 6)

3 cups cooked, shredded chicken
250-300g good, smoky bacon, diced
1 medium onion or leek, diced
2 carrots, diced
1 stick celery, diced
750g potato, diced into 2cm-ish cubes
3-4 cups sauerkraut with whatever juices it may be chilling out in
2 tablespoons garlic butter
2-3 liters water or stock
Salt and pepper
Chopped parsley and crusty bread to serve

• Heat a heavy based pot over a medium flame. Add bacon, onion, carrot, celery and garlic butter and sauté for a few minutes until they start to almost get a bit of colour
• Add chicken, potato and sauerkraut with enough water/stock to cover fully plus an extra cup or so
• Simmer for 1 hour or until potatoes are cooked and it smells like you need to eat it
• Taste and season with salt and a heap of pepper – it shouldn’t need too much salt because of the sauerkraut and bacon
• Serve garnished with parsley
• Bam. Damn well easy as f…

Smoky Beef Brisket and Potato Hash with the left overs from that BBQ Jennee cooked yesterday

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SAMSUNG CSC

When you have a bit of brisket left over from your barbecue, and maybe a few of those coal roasted potatoes and the garlic butter that accompanied them, and possibly a bit of chopped onion, tomato and capsicum left from that salad, I feel there is but one thing a young man can do… and that one thing is not to make a weird sex film for the inter web super highway starring one man and his dinner. No, there are plenty of those about already. That one possible scenario I can take from this is to make brisket and potato hash!

What a breakfast!

This is certainly not going to be the kind of thing you will consume for breakfast if you routinely start your day with a cup o’ tea, shredded apple, muesli and co-yo (coconut yoghurt. If you haven’t heard of it you will… you will) and a skim read of the local newspaper, saving your real reading time for the supermarket pamphlets in the middle.

This will very seriously appeal to you though, if you spent the night previous drinking your body weight in alcoholic beverages and, on this morn, you are the proud owner of a sore gut, throbbing head and very low IQ. This food was born for hang overs… also, it would probably suit you if you were just down right keen on a meaty slap up breaky!

Done.

On with the cooking.

Mis en place? Check. Did that last night. Damn, I love left overs

Mis en place? Check. Did that last night. Damn, I love left overs

Time to sort this out

Time to sort this out

BRISKET AND POTATO HASH (for 4)

2-3 cups shredded brisket (or what ever meat you want to use/have lying about)
3 medium potatoes, cooked and cut into large chunks (I had a bit of sweet potato left over so that went in there too)
½ onion (I don’t care what colour it is), diced
1 tomato, diced
1 capsicum (bell pepper), diced
1 jalapeño chilli, sliced
Seasoning
Fried eggs, rocket or spinach, toast and HP sauce to serve
• Sauté brisket and potatoes in a little oil
• Once starting to get some colour add all other ingredients and season to taste
• Cook for another 2 minutes
• Serve with toast and eggs and sauce and shit
• Straight in your face hole!!

Lunch at Le Relais Bressan, Flaxton

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Lunch at Le ble bleu blah blah… Or lunch at Le Relais Bressan (if you can speak French a little better then Joey from “Friends” circa 1990s sometime), Flaxton.

This place was the best dining “experience” of our trip. Good food and wine, great service and meals that hit your table fast… Three courses in little over an hour is a pretty effing good effort.

We all opted for the $27.50 lunch menu which had a choice of three entrees, three mains and three desserts. No joke. 27 bucks, we couldn’t go too far wrong there. We also ordered some house made bread to start and an extra entrée of snails in garlic butter because they weren’t on the special menu and Seba was hell bent that he was going to eat snails today! I’m pretty glad they were available because I didn’t fancy the chances of me rummaging around in the garden like a red bearded Don Burke for long enough to find enough snails to feed my ravenous son.

It was a lot of food. I thought the courses may have been a little smaller because of the price, but no, this is French country hospitality at its very finest.

House made bread...

House made bread…

Snails in garlic butter. This was heaps garlic-y awesomeness

Snails in garlic butter. This was heaps garlic-y awesomeness

How awesome is the snail dish! We soaked up every last bit of the butter with our bread

How awesome is the snail dish! We soaked up every last bit of the butter with our bread

The terrine was goooood

The terrine was goooood

...and then I had the beef. The boys had the chicken with mushroom sauce which was the pick of the bunch

…then I had the beef and they give you complimentary vegetables for the table. The boys had the chicken with mushroom sauce which was the pick of the bunch

...and then a cheese plate. Now I am seriously effing full

…and then a cheese plate. Now I am seriously effing full

Jen's brulee was damn fine

Jen’s brulee was damn fine, but the fruit was a little past its prime

The food came out and it was very clear that these guys did not give a fuck… in a good way. This place is to unpretentious what pin striped flares and sexually transmitted disease was to the 60s hippy movement. There was no deconstructed-milk-skin-covered-edible-soil-emulsification or micro shiso leaves in sight. They didn’t care what you thought about their choice of décor or the 1980s salad garnish. But all the same they were very happy to have you there. It’s like you were dining in their home… or a bigger, slightly more eclectic version of it. Does that even make a tiny bit of sense?

The service was magic. There were only two people working the floor and probs 40 or so heads eating. They were polite, they had time for a chat and a laugh and then it was quickly onto the next table for a little of the same, in French this time because he is clearly speaking to another Frenchman. A la vous bon scouns mirepoix! Whatever, I’m just jealous because I can barely speak English let alone a second, heaps sexier language.

Seba was so impressed he wanted to personally thank the chef. On returning from his jaunt into the kitchen he did comment that he didn’t understand anything the chef said… well, you certainly don’t need to be able to speak English to cook. I think both Pauly and myself are living, breathing proof of this! Arms and legs help but English, not a bit.

IMG_5710

A giant cock

Just like every good French restaurant, there is a giant cock out the front!

If you’re ever in or around Montville suss it out.

344 Flaxton Dr, Flaxton, QLD, 4560

(07) 5445 7157

(Closed Tuesdays and Wednesdays)