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Iluka 2466, day one
Day one. We rolled into town on a small pink unicorn named Joe. Strange name for a unicorn I know, but it was inherited from his previous owner. There was no fanfare, zero celebration and we were not even acknowledged by the town hobbit. But I couldn’t hold this against the place… could I? Immediately…
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Whole salmon over smoke and coals to please Thor…
I think it is clear to anyone that knows me that I am of Viking descent. It is also clearly represented in history books with geographical maps written by important people with grey moustaches and clever looking glasses that the origin of my fore fathers is ancient Scandinavia. Thus this night was chosen to thank…
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Getting schooled about prawns
What do you know about school prawns? Not much. Well I’m sure that has absolutely nothing to with the fact that you live in a dark damp mountain cave in the middle of, err, the mountains… School prawns. *Insert old English voice here. “School prawns? Prawns that go to school? Absolutely ludicrous man. What will…
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Paul’s Caul… Time to find a friend
Time to find a friend So you’re lonely, you’re bored and basically you have no mates… firstly ha-ha!!! But we at foodisthebestshitever are here to help, not in the collect all your details and hope to find a match in our database of other losers for you to date kind of way, but in the…
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Braising winter away
The cold chill has hit. I know this because the smart part of my brain tells me that when I see ice on the car wind-screen it is cold… unless you are at a party for crack loving car fiends, in which case it’s probably a heart warming sight. Also my nipples stand more erect…
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Moussaka
Moussaka… if I wanted your opinion I would’ve asked ya. But seriously, I would love for you to offer me an opinion on my moussaka. Unless of course you are one of those people who waits feverishly for the next season of Masterchef and considers every opinion offered on the show to be gospel and…
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Another story by Dr. Chris and a cracking beef roast
Some years ago when cows were cheap & horses were dear, I swapped 5 horses for 15 stud cows. The cows duly calved and one cow had a calf that was a freaking midget. A deadset dwarf! A little bull calf midget dwarf. My kids christened the calf “Little Latten”, after the guy who swapped…
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Paul’s Caul… Cheesy fucking goodness. That’s right, I said fucking
Cheesy Effing Goodness There has been a renaissance of late as far as comfort food on menus, and by comfort food I mean food from your childhood that warms not only your belly but also the cockles of your heart. By no means does comfort food reflect how the food feels when worn as clothing,…
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The little things…
Sometimes it’s the little things that keep you going in the kitchen. We spent the rest of the day looking for images of the Virgin Mary in the lamb chops…
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Paul’s Caul… Salt and pepper squid
Salt & pepper squid There is always a huge disparity between dishes us chefs think of being our best and the dishes that the people (you) like the most. This for years has driven me up the effing wall but as I get older I say give the people what they want, unless what they…
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