Smoky grilled chicken

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I really do like a good yard bird.

This is a good yardbird type experience.

A smoking hot bronzed bird splayed out in front of you… so moist and ready for the taking… it’s good times.

Euphemisms aside, if they should really ever be put aside, this is some damn tasty bird.

If you can split a whole bird down the backbone you can win this one, because the rest of it is keeping a few coals glowing and you can do that, right? Right?

This isn’t even so much a recipe as it is a little anecdote about what I made for dinner. I feel the time I am spending typing right now would be better spent explaining to you how to butterfly (spatchcock) a bird or even how to make a good chicken stock for the chicken gravy… but you know what? Yeah you know what. You know I am not going to do that because quite frankly, that is just not my style. No, I’m more of a don’t-really-care-about-what-you-reckon, unkept face hair and trucker cap kinda of guy, with maybe a bit of an air of a slight acquired brain injury from one too many stacks on my skateboard when I was younger… or was it from when attempted to form myself into a human snowball while snowboarding last month? Who knows, maybe I’m one of the lucky ones and I scored myself two ABIs… Lucky guy indeed.

Season the bird, inside and out, with your favourite bird seasoning type BBQ rub. I mix a few things together and call it “Big Red Rub”. There is a recipe for it right here. It works for me.

Let the bird hang out in the seasoning for half an hour or so while you get your BBQ fired up.

Get some coals going in your BBQ (pro Q or Weber are the sort of thing you’ll need for this job, or a grill plate over a fire with an old wok over the chicken to keep a little heat in will even do the job. I’m not even joking) exactly like you would normally get some coals going in your BBQ, and get it up to 150C (300F) ish.

Place the chicken skin side up over indirect heat and cover for 1 hour. The chicken should be looking pretty good at this stage… hopefully… I don’t know how I’m going to help you if it isn’t…

Brush the skin of the chicken with a little melted butter or olive oil and then, using two sets of tongs, carefully turn the chicken over, your goal now being to crisp up the skin a little.

The chicken can handle a little direct heat now, but it may need some turning so it doesn’t get “extra crispy” (AKA burnt), so get your comfy chair out, crack another tinny and keep a closer eye on it from here on in. Cook for another 15-20 minutes or until chicken is sexy as and juices from the leg run clear.

Carve it up and drizzle (yes, I know I would normally punch myself in the face for using the word “drizzle”, but I feel it has a place here) with smoked honey to gild the lily. Gilding the lily. Heck yeah, kid!

We served it with roasted carrot and sweet potato, braised kale, cornbread and homemade chicken gravy and I must say, it was damn well delicious.

CHICKEN BURGERS by Jennee

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The weapon

The weapon (I’m not fricking shy of mayo on my burger)

I am sitting on the verandah, which is one of my all time favourite places to hang out after a hard day at work, watching all of the busy people drive by. It makes me smile. I’m smiling. Now I’m laughing. Laughing loudly like a mad scientist. Now I’ve had a valium and I’m a little more relaxed… Anyhow, I was drinking a tasty beverage or two (the aforementioned tasty beverage may be the holy amber fluid that takes memories from teenagers in the same vicious breath that it offers them crazy sex in the park out the back of the after-ball party), pondering my lack of energy and care factor today, and also the meal that shall be presented to me tonight.

That is well and truly enough about me.

Jennee has declared that we shall be eating chicken burgers with the same marinade she did last night (I must confess the vodka may have erased that memory while I was sleeping), bacon (effing luuuurve bacon on a burger… or just in my face), she mentioned something crazy about pineapple ‘slaw (which, to be absolutely honest, kinda freaked me out a little bit) and I think there was talk of chips… although I may have just made that last bit up…

The end result? I think when all was said and done (and burgers eaten and all that), the burger was almost nothing like what she had mentioned earlier. Except it did have the same marinade from last night… apparently. It was damn fine though… damn, damn fine.

Grill the chicken

Grill the chicken

And then grill the pineapple

And then grill the pineapple

Don't necessarily pretend the pineapple is covers for your boobs

Don’t necessarily pretend the pineapple is covers for your boobs

Ready to go, but not quite fully pumped... needs some sides

Ready to go, but not quite fully pumped… needs some sides

All the goodies ready and raring to go!

All the goodies ready and raring to go!

Herby mayo, home made styleez punk

Herby mayo, home made styleez punk

An abolsute weapon I tell ya

An abolsute weapon I tell ya

CHICKEN BURGERS WITH ALL THE GOODS (for 4)

2 large free range chicken breasts sliced into escalopes (thin fillets), marinated in rosemary, paprika and some other stuff (recipe below)
4 rashers bacon
4 slices fresh pineapple
4 buns (we had Turkish rolls and they were quite tasty indeed)
lettuce, tomato, cheese, pickled chilli, herby mayo (recipe below)
• Grill the chicken breasts, on a cook top or bbq (Get your freedom of choice right here!), for 2-3 minutes each side until done. Set aside and cover with foil to keep warm
• Now grill the bacon and pineapple, and the buns if you like them toasted. I like toasty buns… mmmm
• Put everything out on the table for everyone to make their own burgers the way they want them

Marinade
1 tablespoon each paprika, chopped rosemary, lemon zest, sesame seeds
2 tablespoons olive oil
• Mix to combine

Herby mayo
1 cup of homemade (recipe here) or good store bought mayo
1 cup mixed herbs (I had my old faves; basil, parsley and mint), chopped
1 tablespoon capers, chopped
• Mix to combine